Posted on Monday 13 October 2008

Usually I love Houghton and college in general. I tend to find classes okay, some of them even fun, and all of the social activities are awesome.
Then there are times like this.
I stress out about one thing and end up stressing out about everything. Like this week I had an assignment to do over the weekend and then there was a test in a different class today. I knew I had to study for the test over the weekend so I did. But I kept thinking about that assignment and all the other things that will be coming up later on. I eventually stressed myself out so badly that Lauren kept telling me to calm down and take it easy. I called my mom randomly and I told her about everything that was going on and she basically said for me not to worry about it because those things aren’t due yet.
But how can I not worry?
So I got to French class this morning with my assignment in hand. It just so happened that the assigned work for the weekend was far longer and MUCH harder than usual so I wasn’t at all confident in my work. At least today we did a lot of other things instead of just going over the assignment and answering the questions one person at a time.
Then I had my Intro to Christianity test. I don’t think I did too badly but then again, I’ve been wrong before. I’m mostly familiar with his layout and grading style because I had Professor Eckley for Bib Lit. my first semester at Houghton. I don’t know what to think really.
Then I worked on the reading and answering some questions for my English lit class. I got to class at 1 and was handed my test/exam that we just took last week. That was one exam where I felt fairly confident that I did okay and that I would get an okay grade. Not stellar, but okay.
I opened the booklet to find a 77 written on the inside. According to his grading scale, that’s the lowest C+ that there is. He put up a distribution on the board and I realized that I was in the lowest 5 in the class. Maybe even lowest 4.
So needless to say, I’m extremely disappointed in myself and my inability to realize the kinds of things I was supposed to write on the test. I feel like a failure because I was really trying to get an A in that class or at least a high-ish grade because it’s one of the ones that applies to my English major. Now I’m afraid my family will be disappointed with me and that I won’t be able to pull my exam grade back up because the last two exams are harder. Jeremy said don’t panic and that I can do it and he has faith in me. I’m glad.
I just wish I had more faith in myself.
So anyway, this was not what I needed today. I would appreciate it if anybody that reads this just says a quick prayer for me because I could really use it. I’m stressing out way too much and I know it. This morning I almost made myself sick stressing over the Intro to Christianity test.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.









